My innards are all in a twist

So.. if you know me, you know I've gone back and forth with antidepressants for the past few years. Prozac, Lexapro, Wellbutrin... well, I've tried out a new one: Zoloft. I don't remember why I quit Prozac, but I quit Lexapro because it caused me to gain a ton of weight and I felt like I was developing a tolerance to it. Wellbutrin was good in that it helped me lose that weight, but it also made me a nervous, emotional wreck. Brett can testify to that. I quit Wellbutrin after a while, and took a break. In February, I decided to try something new: Zoloft. When I first took it, it made me feel AWFUL. I felt drawn up inside myself, and I was jittery, sweaty and just felt bad. The word for it is "malaise." I decided I would just try to live without it. At the beginning of this month, I thought I would give it a try again, seeing as I still had the bottle of pills with only a couple missing. The last couple of weeks have been strange. I love my job, I really truly do, but for some reason, I feel so anxious about going to work. Once I get there I'm fine, but it's like I'm hyper-focused on everything I'm supposed to be doing and haven't gotten done. Then I get so stressed out from being so anxious that I just shut down at work, and can't get anything done. The only things I want to do anymore are sit at home and read, and go to the gym. When I'm at the gym, the only thing I think about is making it through my workout. Everything else just falls away. So, I'll stick out this "trial period" that I was supposed to do with the Zoloft, and see if I feel better. If not, I'm going back to the doc and try something new. I just can't do the Lexapro thing again and gain back 20 pounds. I've made a lot of progress on my body and fitness goals, and I won't be set back again. Then again, when I was on Lexapro, I never felt like I have ever since I stopped taking it: nervous, panicky, and reclusive. So.. yeah. I guess it's time for something new. I might go back on the anti-anxiety stuff I was taking in '05--Vistaril. It seemed to help with the anxiety attacks, too.