Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Signed and Stamped

So, had my second appointment with Dr. Heck today.

As it turns out, I have a mild case of ADHD. As if I didn't know that... but it's nice to have it on paper. So, I bought a book about adult ADHD today and I plan to read it soon.

...I also bought Volumes 2-4 of the Buffy Season 8 comics. I'm a total nerdball and I love it.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Followup and Followthrough

So I went to my appointment with Dr. Heck. We went through a battery of tests... at the end, he says,

"Well, I don't really know what to do with you. The thing is, you're so bright. You do have some signs of ADHD, but these tests aren't really measuring you the way they're supposed to."

Great, so I'm too smart. But he gave me a take-home test and I have another appointment on the 22nd.

I had a fantastic time this weekend. If only I could put it on repeat.

And! Despite the fact I haven't been to the gym in a couple weeks, when I went back today, I measured my body fat percentage again. I'm ringing in at 7.1%! Woohoo!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Stimulate and Substantiate

Tomorrow is my first appointment with Dr. Heck. I'm going to be assessed for ADHD.

Everyone assumes that I don't have it. I've been successful so far, haven't I?

I think if anyone spent any time inside my head, they'd run away screaming. It's like 25 TV's are turned on inside my head, all at the same time, all on different channels.

My thoughts bounce all over the place like a rubber ball in a tiny box being shaken by an angry child.

My desk is a mess. I have no organizational skills. I forget appointments. I'm constantly running late. I procrastinate with everything.

I always made it through school one way or another.. understanding and lenient teachers and otherwise excellent work helped my grades stay up. But my resources and ability to compensate aren't matching up to the demands of my job and my life anymore.

I just wish I could get someone to understand what it's like inside my brain.

I guess that's why I'm going to see Dr. Heck tomorrow. Maybe it's ADHD that has been at the root of all my low self-esteem and depression all along.