Vibrations and Vortexes

I just got home from a training at Cincinnati Children's Hospital about disruptive behaviors in teenagers. We discussed ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder. It was extremely enlightening and educational. The part I found most useful was the ADHD section. Mostly because sometimes, I think I might have ADHD. One woman said this: "My son has ADHD. One day he told me, 'Mom, I wish I could put you inside my head for one day. My head is like a merry-go-round. When I'm on my medicine, everything is still and I can focus. But when I'm not, everything's spinning around too fast.'" That really spoke to me, because that's how I feel almost all the time. I feel like my brain is revved up too fast. I can't focus on what people are saying because I'm always rushing to the end of their sentence so I can finish it in my head. Sometimes I finish it out loud, which is so so rude. I can't talk half the time because my words get all jumbled up in my head and I can't get them out in an order that makes sense--so I don't say them at all. At work, I'm sitting at my desk, begging for a reason to get up and move. I bounce my leg all day, cross and re-cross my legs, tap my fingers, tap my ink pens, tap tap tap tap tap. I'm so forgetful. I've forgotten to bring things to my foster parents that I promised them. Twice. My paper files? Completely disorganized. That's why I like the computer--so much easier to organize things. Plus, I can do three or four things on the computer at the same time. I can check and respond to my emails, type up progress notes, re-organize my client files and play Solitaire or TextTwist at the same time. I've been able to cope with it, apparently--I mean, I graduated with a 3.35, which isn't stellar but it's not shabby, either.

I'm probably over-reacting, but I have been thinking about it for a while. It couldn't hurt to get screened for ADHD sometime. And even if I did have it, what would I do? Would I get medication? Maybe. Just to see what it's like when the merry-go-round stops.